02 Meaning

We always like to think we're unappreciated scholars; that we know a lot about certain things, be it skills, be it quirky, eccentric knowledge or maybe even an artsy abstract vibe. That being said, we then go on to abuse that (even) unaccredited right to shit on everyone else whom we may think know lesser than us. Is that how the fuck we should behave or is it just a subconscious alter ego-elitist thats living among us; and that if we remove that felon in our souls or hearts, we may die? How can we then be that someone that everyone will grow to like or appreciate? Who do we want to appreciate us in the first place? And for what? What i do know for now is that, having that other half is well important but most unlikely, essential. Sure we can do with someone holding our hand, resting on our shoulder whilst taking the long train ride down to the beach; having a daily confidante to share about the stresses of our days; we crave and long for a regular fuck too, of course while living a lifestyle of Singledom. Aren't we men all fucking selfish cunts?

Ok, off the track there for a bit. Back to the notion of 'Women striving for affection, and men refusing to acknowledge', I guess, come end of the day, it does work out as well, taking the train alone; enjoying the nice sights of a simple stroll down the park where we don't have to respond to any judgemental comments on 'being too much of an artist' where everything noticed is naturally beautiful; and yes, just chilling in the sofa for a little as we drift into sleep, leaving the laptop on with marathon episodes of 'Entourage' in the background? I can't even imagine not being able to regularly pick the brains of Kerouac, London and Co. on a comfortable Sunday afternoon trip to the bar. We cant do all that stuff while we're with someone can't we? What an unnecessary pardox of no fucking complex isn't it?

Sure enough, we never forget our first loves, first two loves in fact, maybe. And there will definitely be repercussions of rippling emotional hurt and despair, which will altercate into the normal living of our lives, finding that so-called destiny we were all meant to seek. We end up not taking up a prestigious overseas scholarship, because we're in love with the hometown sweetheart; we give up chances of business prospects and even risk losing our friends, our fucking brotherhood! Just because a girl says that we don't spend enough time with them. Is it all worth it?

I say it is.

When souls connect, when we join as one as we make sweet fucking love, when I hold your hand over dinner, when you kiss my nose just as we split after every date, I get feelings I can never decipher. It affects me. We don't have to get into character of that unappreciated scholar or the guy who impresses the whole bunch of inconsequential accquaintainces with the smartest jokes. I just do what comes naturally. Yeah I guess happiness is about making choices for your days - just smile and keep on walking isn't it? Anything at all, any circumstances, royalties or people coming in and gradually out of our lives, do not count. Rather, its whether when we are doing the particular thing that we do, or being with the particular person that we love or want and long to see - that we truly become the best version of ourselves.