lost and found thoughts

its unbelievable how one would feel depressed for a bit while being away in another country, starting up slowly, getting a few rejections and still, unfamiliar in a foreign yet ironically culturally-similar land.

he'd be doing productive things and building up gradually on his passion/forte; while at the same time not 'socio-correctly' doing something looked upon as a product. school for example, a day-job? even often recognized or should i say stereotyped as a dreamer. dreaming about making it big on the quick. trying to meld in and fade out into the local crowd, speaking their language, observing their lingo-traits. putting in conscientious effort as well, to adapt to the melanin packed, the unavoidable be-seen-ers and the warholites. one and all. split persona 'forward' thinking' relationships.

emotions are often forgotten. especially with so much 'what the fuck' judgement that was mentioned above. in a worse case scenario, one would probably have some sinus-type minor issues with family, friends, love, and himself even.

parents want the best for their children, i think. but to what kind of extent would they go to get their child to learn crafts of 'correct' practicality'? they want the best, don't they?

indulgence to accessible joy, or rather pleasure, is a paradox. what exactly does one have to achieve, to be bestowed simple pleasures? what if there already are constant and almost desperate attempts of trying to achieve? no one person would know everything about everyone.

next to obvious soul survival needs like family and for religiousos, God, friends are... the one of two 'only' things. there's no need to go into the deeper drama of how true friends would give their best to secretly watch their loved ones cradled. reminders of simple conversation and sharing of emotion would prove any enemy dead. friends are a platform for one to express love, anger, joy and sadness. more than enough reason to have a friend, no?


one, is as well longing for more familiarity with a person back home.